Acceptance

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So exactly how do I . . .

. . . deal with catcalls?(Click here.)

. . . talk to close friends?

Communication techniques for the bullheaded.

So exactly how do I . . .
. . . talk to my peers?(Click here.)
. . . talk to my parents?
. . . bear witness to the actions of authorities?
. . . challenge authorities?
. . . change institutions?
. . . talk to my boss
. . . deal with customers who act out?
. . . intervene with shopkeepers?
. . . educate teachers?
Does kindness count?
Communication techniques that help others to accept your comments.
What about inter-ethnic mistreatment?
Using humor.
The power to name.

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	Acceptance Communication techniques that help others to accept your comments See also "Using humor" and "Communication techniques for the bullheaded." I was riding the train a couple months ago and sat next to a man who I talked with for about an hour. In the middle of our conversation he was talking about his son being cheap, and used a derogatory term for Jews. I let him finish his story for a minute or and so and then I said "I would appreciate if you would not use that word but instead just say that he was being cheap." The man looked at me and said "Oh, is that a bad word? I didn't even know." I assured him that it was and then asked him more about his life, as if telling him I didn't want him to use that word was the most natural thing in the world and that we should move on. And indeed we did. If instead I had challenged his usage and then clamed up or stalked off, his response to that correction would have been very different. The lesson I got out of this is that "pointing out the poop" and then moving on to engage him on another topic -- as if "it's no big deal, we all make these mistakes and learn from each other how to stop them" -- allowed him to avoid an emotional or shame-based reaction. (Jack C. Straton, Portland, OR, USA, 2001)